My good friend Gu Yiming's classmate what is good, the indisposition —— wind that has the hall that enters elegance hard namely is much, classmates call him fart king. A day, mr. Qiu is signing up for English audition, suddenly, of “ ” , whole classroom was immersed in a disorder, in the meantime, a stink goes dispersedly from the corner, the look of classmates is brushed together brush look to the Gu Yiming that sits in classroom corner, gu Yiming's face red white, averment arrives “ not …… , not be me! The look of ” classmates is more sturdy, insist readily: “ is you! Because your fart does not say annual class is famed, also be in at least Hu Xiao of complete Ban Jiayu! ” does not have method, english audition is forced to come again.
我的好朋友贾一鸣同学什么都好，就是有一点难登大雅之堂的小毛病——屁多，同学们都叫他放屁大王。一天，邱老师正在报英语听力，忽然，“噗”的一声，整个教室陷入了混乱，同时，有一阵臭味从角落散开去，同学们的目光齐刷刷的看向了坐在教室角落的贾一鸣，贾一鸣的脸一阵红一阵白，申辩到“不……，不是我！”同学们的目光更加坚定了，一口咬定：“就是你！因为你的屁不说全年级闻名，至少也在全班家喻户晓了！”没办法，英语听力只好重来。
Cause large sensation for the first time, it is to be in deep the teacher's “ spends the four seasons ” of affection wisdom Chinese grooms on the class. , shen Xuan just sat by Gu Yiming, produced —— of a thing she just sat down, gu Yiming's back appeared this fart does not put blare —— not bad, put disastrous, “ bangs of ——” , lasted near 21 seconds! If this fart is in Gu Yiming,give off entirely in 1 second, reckon that force enough destroys whole classroom! And, this fart is especially other smelly, him Gu Yiming was overcome. The person all round him begins to cover auditive auditive, hold nose hold nose. The Yan Xiaojing that sits in in front of is sticking up small mouth, throw Gu Yiming ” of two “ camphor ball, say: “ takes even the belle beside you you fart, you but really bold! This says ” , but disastrous, gu Yiming be flushed, fumble in the mouth, awkwardness must not leave a stage, I mediate a dispute at once, laughing to say: He is in composition “ today the dining room is bean eats probably much ” .
第一次造成大型轰动，是在覃老师的“花开四季情智语文”培训课上。一次，沈璇刚坐在贾一鸣旁边，就发生了一件事情——她刚一坐下，贾一鸣的身后就冒出了一声巨响——这屁不放还好，一放不得了，“轰——”的一声，持续了将近21秒！要是贾一鸣这屁在1秒中全部放出，估计那力量足以摧毁整个教室！而且，这个屁特别的臭，贾一鸣自己都受不了了。他周围的人都开始捂耳朵的捂耳朵，捏鼻子的捏鼻子。坐在前排的颜小静撅着小嘴，扔给贾一鸣两个“樟脑丸”，说道：“连美女坐你身边你都放屁，你可真大胆呀！”这一说，可不得了了，贾一鸣面红耳赤，嘴里支支吾吾的，尴尬得下不了台，我连忙打圆场，笑着说：作文“他今天在食堂大概是豆子吃多了”。
Produce large sensation the 2nd times, also be to be in affection wisdom Chinese. “ asks classmates to turn over the 27th page, we go up today ……” is abrupt, deep the teacher's sound is given to interrupt by blare of a banging day. “ ! The classmate all round ” points to the look in succession Gu Yiming. Deep the teacher conceals for Gu Yiming: “ have nothing to do! You which do not put P……” , “i” of simple or compound vowel has not spoken a mouth, gu Yiming's fart again turn out in full force and went out. “ ! ! ……” , classmates cannot help the whole room burst into laughter rises, I also cannot help bursting out laughing, after the event, gu Yiming says with me, he also did not think of to be able to give off so many fart, he feels his face resembled burning same hair to iron at that time. I sigh with emotion extremely: “ you how so like Shui Hu the hero bangs Tianlei Ling Zhen ah! Ling Zhen has used “ mother child ” of prepare Chinese medicine by roasting it in a panbig gun, a mother prepares Chinese medicine by roasting it in a pan round 49 stature artillery piece, your fart is ” of fart of “ mother descendants, fart of a mother round 49 stature fart! 2401 grandson fart! ” Gu Yiming listened, put on a long face, said a word only: I think “ bear, but I cannot help really! ”
第二次发生大型轰动，也是在情智语文。“请同学们都翻到第27页，今天我们来上第……”突然，覃老师的声音被一阵轰天巨响给打断了。“噗！”周围的同学纷纷把目光指向贾一鸣。覃老师为贾一鸣掩饰：“没事儿！你们哪个不放p……”，韵母“i”还没有说出口，贾一鸣的屁又一次倾巢而出了。“噗！噗！……”，同学们忍不住哄堂大笑起来，我也忍不住哈哈大笑，事后，贾一鸣跟我说，他也没有想到能放出如此多的屁，他觉得自己的脸当时就像烧着了一样发烫。我感慨万分：“你怎么就这么像水浒英雄轰天雷凌振啊！凌振用过“母子炮”，一个母炮围着49个子炮，你的屁就是“母子孙屁”，一个母屁围着49个子屁！2401个孙屁呀！”贾一鸣听了，哭丧着脸，只说了一句话：“我想忍，但我真的忍不住呀！”
Pitiful Gu Yiming has said, he also has thought not fart. He has tried not to eat bean, result not fart, but become a little while collywobbles, a little while belch, so sad that drive sb. to his death. He also has tried adhesive plaster to stick fart key point, but also be to waste kongfu, one fart stretched tight! Gu Yiming has complained with his mom, his mom says: “ fart is meddlesome, show be unobstructed to your bowel! ”
可怜的贾一鸣说过，他也想过不放屁。他试过不吃豆子，结果不放屁了，但变得一会儿肚子疼，一会儿打嗝，难过得要命。他也试过胶带粘屁眼，但也是白费功夫，一放屁就绷了！贾一鸣跟***妈抱怨过，***妈说：“放屁是好事，说明你肠道是通畅的呀！”
Hey! Gu Yiming ah Gu Yiming, you when ability little fart!
哎！贾一鸣呀贾一鸣，你什么时候才能少放屁啊！(文/郭晟尧)