Games opening ceremony will begin on September 29, elementary school ministry and ministry of junior high school are on the playground, already was watertight on the playground, it is the person's ocean everywhere. The side outside having only walks for the person.
9月29日运动会开幕式开始了，小学部和初中部都在操场上，操场上已是水泄不通，到处都是人的海洋。只有外侧供人行走。
Games opening ceremony begins formally, scan widely looks is colored flag on the playground flying, the battle banner of color of one side flame rustle. It is one year square team above all, they each is vibrant, each resembles just rising the sun since. There is stage property in the hand, keep brandishing. It is 2 grade next, 3 grade, 4 grade 5 year square team. They each is stepping strong pace, advance towards rostrum. Canorous catchword is crying before the stage, footfall leaves.出自 wwW.zuoWEnBA.nEt
运动会开幕式正式开始，放眼望去操场上是彩旗飘扬，一面面红色的战旗飒飒作响。首先是一年级方队，他们个个生机勃勃，个个都像刚升起的太阳。手里拿着道具，不停地在挥动。接下来是二年级，三年级，四年级五年级方队。他们个个都踏着有力的步伐，向着主席台前进。在台前喊着响亮的口号，踏步离去。
Performed square team to enter the arena eventually, one grade is being done lovely hold. The companionship dance of 2 grade is pretty good also …… eventually 6 year square team entered the arena. I look up hold out a bosom, put basketball before the bosom, stepping self-confident pace, look at the basketball in the hand, in the heart extremely excited. Began to perform, we control basketball in the hand, double leg stretchs stoop waist to come. There is metre silently in the heart. Commutation formation, I am holding basketball in the arms to go, changed formation 2, schoolgirl inter dances the butterfly that is just as to have dance only lightly. We bat a ball outside, made a handsome motion finally, call exit number: “ 65, 65 Shan Menghu. Invincible, brave seizes expensive coronal ”
终于表演方队进场了，一年级做着可爱的啦啦操。二年级的交谊舞也不错……终于六年级方队进场了。我抬头挺胸，把篮球放在胸前，迈着自信的步伐，看着手中的篮球，心中无比激动。开始表演了，我们把篮球控制在了手中，双腿张开弯下腰来。心中默默地数着节拍。变换队形了，我抱着篮球就走，换到了队形二，女生在中间跳舞犹如一只只翩翩起舞的蝴蝶。我们在外面拍球，最后做了一个帅气的动作，喊出口号：“六五，六五出山猛虎。所向披靡，勇夺贵冠”
The president says: “2019 year fall athletic meeting began the noise on ” playground to remove enthusiastic applause.
校长说：“2019年秋季运动会开始”操场上响起了热烈的掌声。
Author: Ease of Lu fine horse
作者：卢骏逸
The adviser comments on:
导师点评：
The article spreads out a story to narrate around games, from begin the first paragraph introduced the grand occasion of games, enter the court to young him writer, the passion that this part content keeps is insurgent, very interesting, can use depict of a lot of environments and figure motion picture especially, these show young writer to be not commonly used heart when writing. But insufficient is last paragraphs although proclaimed,begin, can not achieve the effect that promotes an article the subject, to showing article whole content for, this part or need are in consider, need young writer to handle the thematic raising of things to a higher level of an article in article ending. Such more the reasonable arrangement that is helpful for text structure.
文章围绕运动会展开故事叙述，从开头第一段介绍了运动会的盛况，到小作者自己上场，这部分内容写的激情澎湃，十分有意思，尤其是能够利用很多环境描写以及人物动作描写，这些都说明小作者在写作时非常用心。但是不足的是最后一段虽然宣告了开始，并没有能够达到提升文章主题的作用，对于显示文章整体内容来说，这部分还是需要在斟酌一下，需要小作者在文章结尾处把文章的主题升华。这样更有利于文章结构的合理安排。